Can we bury her yet?

February 16, 2007 by gpstevens.

 

I’m truly amazed at the media, and the celebrities that dominate the news. I thought I’d seen it all when a former baseball player died and their was a family fight over whether to cut off his head and freeze it or just bury the man. Well that story has ended and Ted Williams’ head is now in cryogenic freeze. Now poor Anna Nicole Smith’s body is sitting in a cooler in Florida waiting for the rich people to and the courts to decide who has the right to bury her and where she will be buried.

Apparently the American people love this crap because the ratings go up with every mention of her name. Now I find the story interesting, and I would like to know how she died but for crying out loud can we at least bury her? It’s been 9 days already, can we bury her yet??

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March of the Penguins

February 8, 2007 by gpstevens.

I just watched one of the most moving films/documetaries of my life. It’s a film called March of the Penguins. It is particularly about the Emporer Penguins that mainly live and breed in Antarctica. I first want to preface my remarks here by saying that I highly recommend everyone watch this film. It is stunning in its sheer beauty of photography, but quite refreshingly, the story outshines its pictures.

There is no way I can ruin this movie for you if you haven’t seen it but I want to give a little background to it before I actually comment on what it means to me. The movie chronicles the life style and the breeding cycle of the Emporer Penguin. They live and breed in the most harsh envioronment on the planet earth. They walk for a little less than twenty days, almost if not more than seventy miles to the place where each one of them was born and have been born for thousands of years. The average tempreture there is around 80 degrees below zero with winds of over 100 miles per hour. They meet, mate and breed and endure 8 months of winter that exists nowhere on this earth. Once the mother produces the egg, she passes the egg onto the father for protection from the cold while she returns to the sea to feed. The father will guard the egg and go without food for over four months. The mother will walk the seventy miles or so to get food for herself and her egg. She has now walked 140 miles, basically starving, to get food for her young. Meanwhile the father will stand starving protecting the life of the newborn chick for another month while he himself is starving. During this time many of the eggs and or chicks will not survive. In fact some fathers themselves will not survive. The mothers meanwhile having made it back to the sea risk death themselves from the predators in the water that are hungry too.

The mothers who survive the second journey and have now filled their bellies with food must now make the 70 mile journey a third time. Upon their return, both parents help and nurture the chick until it can thrive outside the protective cover of their parents feet and stomachs.

During the next several months the sea ice begins to melt and both parents take turns returning to the sea feeding and caring for the newborn chick until finally the chicks can make it on their own. Finally, the parents return to the sea leaving their chicks behind for the last time never to see them again for 4 years. The chicks meanwhile will stand at waters edge for another month until finally, they jump into the water never to return to the breeding ground for four years.

There are many stories in nature that are similar to this but this one stands out for so many reasons. In an age where we have suicide bombers and parents that throw their children into garbage cans or do the most unspeakable things to their kids, here is a story of great love, dedication and sacrifice. Watching this film helped me remember that the hand of God reaches all creatures great and small. Somehow in His infinate wisdom he has given us an example of perfect love that even a child can understand. Maybe if more of us could watch this film, perhaps we would love our children more than we do, and the world would be a better place. 

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Global Warming My Ass!

February 6, 2007 by gpstevens.

 

Ok I’m sure everyone is fully aware that it is as cold as a witch’s tit in a brass bra around most of the country. I mean most of us up here in northeast Ohio are used to the cold but this is rediculous. Schools are closed, roads are treacherous, walking is a chore, and I’m really getting tired of cleaning the snow off the car 4 or more times a day. But right in the middle of this cold snap here comes these so called scientists’ telling us that global warming is at an all time critical stage, and guess what? America will be hit the hardest.

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, or the IPCC just recently released a report that says among other things that; ” the United States, the West will be hardest hit, scientists say. Heat waves, droughts and intense hurricanes are likely to increase in the coming decades. Air temperatures in the Southwest, particularly from California to Texas, are projected to rise in the summer about 10 degrees by the end of the century, assuming there is a moderate increase in greenhouse gas emissions. A reduction in emissions might keep the temperature rise to 5 degrees.”

Now I’m going to try to keep this blog short but who are these people trying to fool? They release this report right in the middle of a winter blast that is bringing half of the country to it’s knees. Maybe it’s just me but its hard to convince people that the house is on fire when we are frantically looking for more blankets to keep warm at night. When I’m scraping the ice of the windshield for the third time in a day I just don’t see the global warming thing. When the car won’t start because the battery is dead because it’s so freaking cold, I find it hard to see any evidence of global warming.

I’d like to announce a new phenomenon. It’s called talk to Jesus (or God) weather. It goes a little something like this:

When I walk outside of my nice warm apartment to get in my car to go to the store or work and the first words out of my mouth are; Jesus, it’s cold! It aint global warming yet. Or when I leave work or whatever to go home and I walk outside and say things like; “God damn it’s cold.” It aint global warming. When the rate in crime drops to zero at night, it aint global warming. When I open my home heating bill and say “Jesus, how am I going to pay for this?” It aint global warming.

I’m going to keep it short but for Christ’s sake, talk to me about global warming when I’m standing in front of my air conditioner in my underwear trying to dry the sweat off my ass right after a cold shower, but not when I’m trying to defrost my testicles after a short trip to Walmart.

Global warming my ass! I got polar bears sniffing around my trash cans outside here. If we have global warming right now I think they need a new thermometer. C’mon spring!!   

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The TV gods are smarter than us.

February 4, 2007 by gpstevens.

 

 

I am like most people. I like TV. There is something on TV for everybody. Whatever you

like you can find on TV. You got news, weather, sports, movies, music, even shop on

TV. From the History channel to Animal Planet, you get it all provided you have

cable. But there’s something suspicious going on with TV. In this blog I’m going to

point out a few things that will change the way you watch TV forever. Here we go.

First: Ever notice how when your watching TV and a commercial comes on you grab the

remote to see whats on the other channels only to find that, Hey! They’re in

commercial too!  Why is that? The television networks know that most people have a

very short attention span. They know we are going to grab the remote and surf the

channels, so they schedule almost all commercial breaks at the same time so that

you will somehow see an advertisement from one of their sponsors no matter what

channel you go to. Often times the same types of commercials come on at the same

times to capture a specific audience. Thats why you never see a commercial for

Viagra during the cartoons. Conversely you never see a commercial for Co-Co Puffs

during American Idol. Why is that?  Maybe a bowl of cereal would be really good

during American Idol but the TV gods don’t think so. A box of cereal costs around

$4.00 but a new Chevy truck costs around 30 grand. Kids don’t have any money to buy

a truck but you do. So lets advertise the truck to you and Capn Crunch to the broke

ass kids. Do I have your attention yet?

Second: The gender gap. OK, so your watching TV, a commercial comes on, you start

surfing channels and you see more commercials, but you wonder whats on that channel

anyway. Well, what kind of commercial is on? I’m willing to go out on a limb and

say that if you see more than one commercial about feminine hygeine products, there

is a pretty good chance that there is no sports on that network right now.

Conversely, if you see a commercial about “Built Ford Tough”, followed by a Bud

Light commercial, it’s a pretty sure bet that the Oprah Winfrey show is not on that

network right now. You see the TV gods know who’s watching what, and when. But what

about when men and women are watching the same show you might ask? Well the TV gods

have that figured out as well. The harsh reality is, we live in a male dominated

society. Almost every major network is run by men. One exception is the Lifetime

channel. Since these networks are owned and run by mostly men they do things from a

male point of view. So while you and your signifigant other are watching American

Idol, you will see all the girlie commercials for women, but the women will be

really sexy so the guys will pay attention. Think about it. You never see a fat

broad talking about tampons on TV at ANY time. Who the hell wants to see that? That

would make even a fat kid spit out his Co-Co Puffs. One the other hand the

commercials about Viagra and Cialis all have relatively good-looking guys in decent

shape in them. So the women see those commercials and think, hmmmm, he wouldn’t

need Viagra if I got my hands (or mouth) on him. But if you put a big fat

pot-bellied guy on TV talking about he needs Viagra, when he hasn’t even seen his

penis in the last 15 years, we all go running from the room screaming in horror, or

pissing our pants in laughter. Who the hell would want to buy Viagra after seeing

that? As a side note. How come in all the fast food commercials there are never any

fat people in the resturaunt. Everyone stuffing a whopper in their face is in great

shape. When I go to a fast food joint I always see some kid that should have been

on a diet since kindergarten. He or she is usaully accompanied by his very large

parents, but they all have diet Cokes’. You see the TV gods know that if they

showed you fat people eating at Wendy’s you won’t go there out of fear that you’ll

wind up like those fat bastards you saw on TV. Which brings me to another thought.

Why is it in almost every diet commercial they keep showing us food? Well the TV

gods have that figured out too. First they know that 25% of the American public is

over weight, so we all need to go on a diet right? But if we all got skinny we

wouldn’t need those diet foods anymore, and thus their sales would drop. But we

can’t have that. Sooooooooo…, they shows us that delicious food because they know

we won’t eat just one diet meal but two, or three. But we feel better about eating

that low fat crap. Instead of saying I had a Wendy’s triple with the works I can

say I ate 6 or 7 low fat veggie burgers and 3 diet pepsi’s because im dieting.

Please! So the next time you see a fast food commercial look around at the people

in them and think of what they are trying to tell you about who eats that crap.

Third:The Mind Job. This might be a little hard to follow so read carefully. There

is an annoying commercial on TV about a product called HeadON. “HeadOn, applied

directly to the forehead.” “HeadOn, applied directly to the forehead.” “HeadOn,

applied directly to the forehead.” That commercial is one of the most annoying

commercials known to mankind, and the TV gods knew it. They knew that people would

get sick of it. Especially when they used to run it 2 times in a row. So now they

have a commercial about the same product only with a twist now. First you get the

“HeadOn, applied directly to the forehead.”, but then a person walks on the screen

and starts saying it in anger like he or she hates the commercial but loves the

product. And therin lies the trick. The original commercial used to say “HeadOn,

applied directly to the forehead.” 3 times. Now the new one you hear “HeadOn,

applied directly to the forehead.” 4 times. But you feel better about it now

because they like you, hate the commercial too, but oops!!! Now you can’t get that

slogan out of your head, so to speak. Moreover, now they put in a testimonial so

now you think, hey, thats probably a good product. You like it now because someone

“allegedly” feels the same way you do. But the only thing you really have in common

with that person is that you both hate that commercial. This is classic reverse

psychology. The TV gods made you hate something first and then like it second so

you think you made an informed decision.

So the next time you walk into a store, stop and think before you buy something.

When you look at a product on the shelf do you see the commercial in your mind? Are

you buying it because you think it’s a good product or are the TV gods messing with

your head? “HeadOn, applied directly to the forehead.”

Scary aint it?

 

–
To err is human. To really screw things up requires a computer.

Greg Stevens

Posted in General Discussions, Other, TV/Movies, Main Posts | Print | 2 Comments »

The Slow Computer. Part 2

February 4, 2007 by gpstevens.

 

Over the past several months or more I have noticed a trend when I work on people’s computers. The most common frustration is that the computer is running slow. Many people think the solution is to re-install the operating system or re-format. While re-formatting will definately solve the problem, most of the time it’s not necessary. Think of your computer as a car or truck. The more weight you have to pull, the more stress you put on the engine and the slower the rate of acceleration.

I’ve noticed that more and more people are using browser add-ons, like the Yahoo toolbar. Now the Yahoo toolbar is nice if you really need it but most people don’t. The Yahoo toolbar adds on more crap than most people ever really use. Think about it. Do you really need the Yahoo personals button or the stock market tracker? Add on the weather and sports and on and on, and just with this simple example you can see how with just the Yahoo toolbar alone the load just got alot heavier.

Then there are those toolbars that you never even wanted, they just showed up one day. This is a classic result of spyware infestation. The most common unasked for toolbar I see is the My WebSearch bar. Most people I talk to have no idea where it came from and have no clue how to remove it. Some tool bars are so insidious you need a spyware removal tool to uninstall them like Ad-Aware or Spybot Search & Destroy. Most of these toolbars can easily be removed by going to: Start>>Control Panel>>Add/Remove Programs.

While your in the Add/Remove programs list, take a look and see if you see any programs that the computer maker put in there that you don’t even use. Like AOL for example. Besides the normal windows updates and things like Adobe Acrobat reader etc., chances are if you don’t recognize the name of something on that list you probably don’t use it and therefore don’t need it installed on your computer. It’s just adding more weight to the load. In addition to those things look for games or other applications you may have installed but don’t play or use anymore, get rid of them.

Another thing you can do to help prevent your computer from running slower is don’t download every cute little thing you see. Some examles of this are: 10,000 smileys, Bonzai Buddy, Incredimail, Cool Web Search (major spyware), any products made by Gator or GAIN, or any other sort of browser add-ons like toolbars or assistants. 99% of the time you get alot more than what you asked for.

I could go on for hours about this but I want to cover one more critical thing.

Antivirus software.

Many computers come with Norton anti-virus software already installed. Norton is a great anti-virus or AV program. In fact it’s probably the #1 AV on the market, but it comes with a price most people can’t afford and that is it’s use or abuse if you will of system resources and memory. Using Norton AV is like strapping a 800 pound gorilla on the back of your computer. Now I understand that many of you like Norton and swear by it but you have to keep one thing in mind. Can your computer handle Norton AND everything else. Sure the computer ran fine with Norton BEFORE you added all of your stuff. Now your computer is trying to carry the Gorilla+Yahoo toolbar+…. Get my point? But don’t just take my word for it, here are a couple of reviews of Norton from PC World website:

Full User Summary #1
For some strange reason, Norton decided to commit professional suicide by making its historically best sold product a resource hog in 2006. My relatively new Centrino laptop with 756 MB RAM drasticaly slowed down after installing 2006. For a while I was not aware why it was so. Eventually, Google searches revealed the NAV 2006 to be the source. After UN-installing NAV 2006 , the PC immediately gained its previous speed. I never though getting rid of a premium AV product would make me happy. Now, I am using critically acclaimed and “free” AVG anti-virus with its minimal resource usage. Intererestingly, I had been using NAV since 2000 and all older versions of Norton AV used to be great products. It is said that NAV 2007 will not have the same problems since Norton decided to listen to its customers. Nevertheless, I won’t get to try it. Also, you will need to go to Norton website and download and run Norton’s removal tool if you are installing this over the older versions of the NAV. Otherwise, NAV has this bad habit of not wanting to get out of your PC, even after the uninstall. I am now glad MS will no longer provide Kernel access to Symantec.

Full User Summary #2
horrendous. the ONLY thing i wanted was antivirus SCANNING and PROTECTION. akin to the mcafee v-shield, norton autoprotect from my previous norton AV version, 2004, was fine…onintrusive and efficient, popping up only when a threat had been detected or to notify me when and why an internet script had been blocked.but this new “norton protection center” is the worst thing known to man. it forces you to DL all the windows updates - even if you uncheck the windows update component, it still attempts this every startup (unless you CTRL + ALT + DEL, task manager, processes, and end the process wuauclt.exe that’s good lookin out ppl, trust me). it insists on running the protection center and a bunch of system processes that CANNOT be “ended,” and there is no option to disable protection center. it schedules automatic scans at inopportune times, drags down memory and RAM, and is overall negative.i used to get by with four programs to fix EVERYTHING that could ever go wrong on my computer… jay loden’s aimfix, webroot spysweeper, norton AV 2004, and registry mechanic. norton is attempting to do all of these in one, which would be nice if actually accomplished, but not at the expense of 90-95% of my processor’s capability.one of the best things about AutoUpdate was the ability to make it ManualUpdate and do it whenever. Despite turning it off, stuff still gets downloaded on my comp all the time WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.Thumbs down, 1/5 on this product.

These are just a few tips on how to keep your computer from slowing down. Always remember to keep your windows up-to-date with windows updates. Keep your spyware definitions up-to-date. Keep your Anti-Virus definitions up-to-date. Run a scan at least once a week. Check to make sure your Hard disk does not need to be defragmented at least once a month. Burn your music to CD’s and then delete the music from your hard drive. Uninstall unused programs. Read! Read! Read! Read as much information as you can before you download anything. Before you download something do a google search on it to make sure it’s legitimate and worth it, a lot of times there is something better out there. Don’t just get something because it’s advertised on a web site. Some products offer a trial version so you can check it out BEFORE you buy it.

Lastly, be nice to your PC and your PC will be nice to you.

 

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